just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
