I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
