yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
