So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
