just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
