My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize