he thought i was a dude.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
