Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's Friday. Sex?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
