all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
