so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize