who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I smell stomach acid.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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