I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
