hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
