Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
