Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
