Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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