yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
