i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We got so high we made milksteak
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
