Redeem this text for a blowjob
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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