The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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