An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize