it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
