people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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