why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
