Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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