you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
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She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My ass is underappreciated
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize