New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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