Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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