The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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