Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
