we're blogging at a bar
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
