i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
