he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
