She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
