So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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