my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
