honey bunches of taint.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
