I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
