So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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