dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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