what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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