these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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