Porn is love you can see.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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