try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it hurts more in the daytime
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
