sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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