I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
