What a fucking waste of an outfit
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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