I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
