In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
