butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
