Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
