i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
