I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
