whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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