its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
