i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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