he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize