His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
