I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My life is pants optional.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
