I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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