what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
