I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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