She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
