It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
