I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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